Psychological Evidence Supporting Same Sex Parenting

It's been a bit of a blue couple of days. I've been allowing some narrow minded internet users get to me. Thank goodness for Sarah and her unwavering optimism.

Whilst I know rationally that we will make great parents, I've allowed myself to become troubled by accusations that without a father, our child will grow up to be a disturbed. We have carefully selected two 'god'fathers to play an active role in our child's life and thus provide male role models but is it enough? DavidX, who attacked us in a Usenet forum, believes not:

"It's a proven fact that a child (particularly a boy) needs the male influence of a father, particularly at the crucial stages of development up to age 5 (and of course beyond) in order to develop normally. By setting out to bring up a baby yourselves, you are preparing that child for an abnormal childhood, which is likely to lead him or her to developmental difficulties, and potentially to a disturbed adulthood. There's nothing radical about this - it's standard text-book child psychology. You don't have to believe me - you can read it almost anywhere."
- DavidX

Was he right? Could our child suffer without a father? Where were these text books that DavidX talked about? If the evidence is indeed, anywhere, then why did a quick browse of Google Scholar uncover the following:

"The body of literature generally concludes that children with lesbian and gay parents are developing psychologically, intellectually, behaviorally, and emotionally in positive directions, and that the sexual orientation of parents is not an effective or important predictor of successful child development."
- Fitzgerald (1999)

"There are no data to suggest that children who have gay or lesbian parents are different in any aspects of psychological, social, and sexual development from children in heterosexual families."
- Gold, Perrin, Futterman and Friedman (1994)

"More than two decades of research has failed to reveal important differences in the adjustment or development of children or adolescents reared by same-sex couples compared to those reared by other-sex couples."
- Patterson (2006)

With decades of evidence on our side, I suddenly felt much more positive about our child rearing potential.

Candidate #7 - Handsome Henry

Finally a candidate with potential. I've just got home from a very promising lunch with a guy called Henry - don't draw conclusions from his old-fashioned name - Henry is actually 33 and refreshingly dishy.

He had a way of putting me at ease that suggests that he has a gentle and amiable nature - family studies suggest that personality can be inherited. He also seemed calm and generous, reassuring me when Sarah called to say she couldn't get away from work and insisting on paying for lunch at what was certainly not Soho's cheapest restaurant.

Another thing that I liked about Henry was the fact that he seemed to be prepared to help because he supports what we're doing and not to fulfill an agenda of his own. Whilst we don't object to people with their own reasons for donating per se, we are concerned that men with few other fathering options may find it hard not to interfere once our child is born.

Unfortunately Henry looks nothing like Sarah - he's blonde and blue eyed whilst she has a darker complexion and deep brown eyes. Ideally we would like to have a child who resembles both Sarah and me but that is obviously not as important as other aspects such as health.

Sarah hasn't had a chance to meet Henry yet, having been busy with work, but I spoke to her on the phone earlier this afternoon and we're planning to invite Henry to dinner later in the week - could he be the one?

Pros: pleasant personality; in good health; handsome; happy to help; appears not to have own agenda.
Cons: doesn't look much like Sarah.

Verdict: Possibility.

Candidate Backlog

Sarah and I have been overwhelmed by the response from men offering to donate us sperm. We hadn't expected to find any potential donors at this stage of our search yet we currently have a backlog of fifty messages to respond to - hopefully our perfect donor will be among them.

We're also delighted by the amount of support we've received from people of all sexualities and ages, including many people who are gay parents themselves and one or two people who were raised by same-sex couples.

Thank you for all your messages and apologies to those we have not replied to - as you can see, we've been inundated.