Candidate # 12 - Mark

Could we have found Mr. Right? Sarah and I have recently built a friendship with one of Sarah's brother's friends, Mark*. He's healthy, 32 and very interested in donating sperm. He has asked that, for now, we don't include too much information about him online as he still needs to discuss the situation with his girlfriend, Annie*. They haven't been together for long but obviously if Mark does donate sperm, it could have an impact on their relationship if they're still together when the baby is born so we need her blessing before we can go ahead. The fact that Annie is currently in the US for six weeks means that we have plenty of time to get to know Mark better before the process can begin. We're just trying not to get our hopes up until we know for certain how Annie will react.

*As with all the posts, names have been changed.

A website designed for people like us

Co-Parent match is a website that helps people to find suitable donors and co-parents. Naturally, we decided to take a look.

After signing up (which was pretty straight forward) we were taken to a search screen where we input whether we were single or a couple, our sexuality and type of person (or couple) that we're looking for. We were also given the option to restrict our search to a chosen location. Unfortunately we couldn't get the search to display any results.

However this was not due to an absence of users. Even though the site was only launched this August, there do seem to be around 150 profiles already. There are users who, like us, are lesbian couples searching for an active donor but also a wide variety of other set-ups, for example men wishing to donate, heterosexual couples looking for donors and single bisexual women looking for active co-parents.

With a section for us to enter a very detailed user profile, it does appear that this could be the site for us. Whilst our experiences with Scott have somewhat deterred us from meeting random internet users, members of this site are certainly more likely to be serious about parenting.

The site also specialises in selling insemination kits and home pregnancy tests, and provides vital health information for anyone considering home insemination.

Candidate # 11 - Scott the Student

Having been lured into the den of three overgrown adolescent boys, Sarah and I have gone right off the idea of finding a donor on the internet.

Scott looked alright on paper, he was a medical student in his final year, owned a flat in central London, was left wing and was completely free of hereditary disorders. He also sounded perfectly respectable on the phone, if not a little pretentious. Sarah was concerned that he might be a little arrogant like Doctor Dave but I persuaded her to let me meet him for lunch to check him out.

Ideally, I like to meet potential donors somewhere public, particularly those I've met online but Scott kept insisting that cafes near his flat were overcrowded at lunch times and told me that he was too busy with work to travel further a field. Foolishly I let myself be talked into meeting at his flat.

I was surprised when he came to the door only half-dressed, particularly as he had been expecting me and I was a good five minutes late. Still, he apologised and guided me into the living room while he went to find a shirt to put on.

"Is it true then?" a voice came from what I assume was the kitchen. I stood up and was faced with not just one, but two lazily-dressed, male students. When I say lazily-dressed, I don't mean casual, I mean unwashed and grubby.
"Is what true?"
"Are you a lesbian?" he said with a menacing wink.
"I think I'm going to just sit down and wait for Scott." I said, finding a spot on the sofa between a box set of Peep Show and an empty pizza box.

The two boys flopped onto the couch either side of me, really cramping my personal space. "So you are a lesbian then?" one of them asked again. I looked at my watch, willing Scott to appear and take me somewhere away from these irritating people.
"Not very talkative are you?" observed one of them, cleverly.

Finally Scott reappeared, fully dressed. "Sorry about those two." He said and they backed away from me a little. I smiled a little, perhaps I'd been unkind to judge them too quickly. Then Scott spoke again, with a broad grin, "So, what's it like being a lesbian?"
"Oh for heaven's sake!" I cried, rose and bolted for the door.
The last words I heard were, "You're not staying then?"

Pros: Sounded great by email.
Cons: In reality he was an overgrown fourteen year old boy.

Verdict: Unsuitable.