Thursday, 20 March 2008

Candidate # 13 - The Anonymous Donor

Hunt for the Perfect Donor turns Resolve to use an Anonymous Donor. Yes, contrary to the thoughts we've expressed so far, and in fact, the entire nature of this blog, we've decided to use a sperm bank.

We felt there would be boundary issues if we knew our sperm donor. Whilst we liked the idea of a pseudo-uncle waiting silently in the wings, what exactly is a pseudo-uncle? And would he really wait to be called? The more we looked into it, the more knowing the donor sounded like a parenting minefield.

It's not as if our baby will be short of male role models without knowing the donor, there's Sarah's brother, James, for a start and another close male friend is happy to play the atheist's equivalent of a godfather. Mark is lovely but donating sperm would complicate his life and add strain to his relationship with Annie.

We've read about a UK sperm bank aimed at lesbians called Man Not Included but have been unable to find out whether or not it's still running. We are keen to hear from other lesbians who have used this service or similar, in the UK.

Pros: Won't interfere, won't threaten us with legal action, won't demand access, has a clearly defined role.
Cons: Could cost us financially, impersonal.