Monday, 23 July 2007

Can you choose your sexuality?

After reading an ad we put on Usenet, some people have been arguing about whether or not people can choose their sexuality, something I touched upon in this post.

Below are some highlights from the argument:

"I believe that people growing up had difficulty mingling with the so called "normal" people, and perhaps may have been rejected by the many of their classmates, hence leading them to mingle with the huge minority, that be the gay population where they would most like receive some friendship and perhaps love." - Devil's Advocate

"I don't think you understand, no-one CHOOSES to be homosexual." - Clint and Tammy

"That is a crock of shit........everyone chooses if they want to be homosexual. For chris sake, you don't think people are born to be gay do ya?" - Devil's Advocate

"Homosexuality is not social or chosen it is whom you are, as much as some behaviours are gained as social skills, your sexuality is not." - Clint and Tammy

"nobody chooses, it it pre-decided, do a bit of research on it and you will see" - Jamie

"you choose your sexuality, youre not born with it. From what I remember about being a 5 year old girls were gross, but I certainly don't feel that way now!...
...if my kids ever remark something about being gay I'll smack the shit out of them." - Crocop

"As you stated when you were five you thought girls were gross, and now you don't feel the same. Something inside you more powerful then choice and logical thought instilled in you felt drawn toward the opposite sex. Knowing this you still think homosexuals/bisexual wake up one day and say hell I know all the suffering it may cause me but sure I think I want be gay/bi. They feel the same as you do but toward the same sex. Same feeling different sex, nothing more!" - Clint and Tammy

Whilst the jury is out on what makes some people straight and others gay (genetics, hormonal changes, environmental factors) of one thing I'm certain, you can neither choose nor change your sexuality.

Likewise there is no evidence that your parents can pre-choose a sexuality for you, even (and perhaps especially not) if, as Cropoc worryingly suggests, they smack the shit out of you. If it was as simple as parents picking a path for their offspring, there wouldn't be the many gay people out there who have been rejected by families because of their sexuality.

I can only profile two groups of people who could honestly believe that sexuality is a choice:
1. heterosexuals who have never felt the need to try to change their sexuality
2. homosexuals who have decided to renounce their true feelings in favour of belonging to the majority group

I would be quite resentful towards practicing homosexuals if I had chosen to repress my true feelings. Given the intensity of some of the negative reactions in this discussion, I'd say that at least a couple of the more bigoted participants belong to the latter group.


Anonymous said...

The vast majority of people have homosexual feelings at some point during their lives - only sinners CHOOSE to act on them.

Anonymous said...

I don't think people can choose their initial sexuality, as that is determined by environmental factors, but I do think that people can change their sexuality with a lot of hard work and determination.

AIMUHHH. said...

i do not think that sexuality is genectic one bit. sure some of the envirnmental things are a factor in the thinking process of this but the certain person CHOOSES to make that decision on his or her own. no one can make it for them. they control themselves.

Anonymous said...

I'm heterosexual but feel very strongly about gay and bisexual rights. My friends, however, constantly use the word 'gay' in a derogatory fashion which gets on my nerves to no end. Especially when they pull the whole 'Gay people are weird' deal then try to quote the Bible on me. Honestly, it's like saying 'You choose if you have two lungs or three'. Homosexuality is not a choice. It can be influenced by things, but ultimately it's not up to you as an individual. I especially love the 'it's in the Bible that being gay is a sin' argument when, if they're truly Christian, Jewish, Muslim, whatever, then they believe that their god creates us exactly the way they are and as such it has to be His choice. Chew on that.

Anonymous said...

Unless you are gay yourself you have NO right to comment on whether a gay person chose to be gay. How ridiculous.

I am gay, and I feel there is nothing wrong with that, but due to the people around me, I have TRIED to become straight and I couldn't. I certainly didn't want to be gay but for some reason I am, so it is NOT a matter of choice.

However, even I am wondering if it is genetic or environmental. But one thing for sure, it is NOT by choice. Stop posting ignorant comments like "people control themselves" of course they do, but unfortunately there are many things in life you can't control. This is one of them.

charlie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
callingroses said...

from what i have learned from research, surveying, and speaking directly to two college professors one who has a doctorate (Ph.D) i have learned much about the subject of choosing your sexuality. from a christian point of view you choose your sexuality and this view was common among high school students that were religious or not homosexual/bisexual, basically religious straight teens, but asking gay/bi teens they state that they didnt choose. they have always had a feeling of liking the same sex but some did say that they discovered later on in life (around their freshman year of high school) that they liked the same gender. these are some stand points of high school students (11th-12th graders)

for the professors: (DB) one being an anatomy,health,health occupations, etc... teacher and the other (MB) being a child life specialist,child development specialist, health teacher as well as a chef and health care occupations instructor they know their way around human development, human body, and all the functions taking place inside (hormones).

DB said there has been a study which shows that the development stages in a male fetus where the brain is forming and forms similar to a females brain instead of a "normal" male heterosexual brain, and a contributing factor could be an excess of Y chromosomes, this theory hasnt been proven but scientists are still doing research and are trying to solve the mystery behind homosexuality.

MB agreed with what DB informed me about, and i asked for any information she knew about the topic, once again being a child development specialist she knew quite a lot. She informed me that hormones within the mother while the fetus' development also plays a role, but it has a different affect than the brain development. While being exposed to large amounts of sexual hormones the fetus' brain is maintained to form a "masculine" child but he will have a higher chance of being homosexual.

these are some of the things i have learned over the past year about "Choosing your sexuality"

in my personal opinion you dont choose our sexuality, its like saying for you to choose what your favorite food EX if you hate onions you cant really change that you just know you hate the way onions taste its similar to sexual preference.
you dont choose who you like either
this is coming from a guy who feel for a straight christian guy
i didnt choose to fall for him, i choose to be around him a lot but not to fall for him.
so in all honesty why face the pains of being gay/bisexual/lesbian? if you could just choose to be straight?
why do all the heart ache and humiliation that comes along with it?
i lost a good friend because i liked him, i wish i would have never liked him but thats one thing that you so called "CHOOSE" when you "CHOOSE" your sexuality.