Candidate #4 - Geriatric George
When a professor from Cambridge responded to our advert on Gumtree, Sarah and I jumped with delight. He gave us an indication of his build, skin tone and superb medical record. What he neglected to tell us was that he was well into his seventies! You can imagine our faces as we sat in a bar nervously waiting for a man who could potentially father our child, when in walked a man old enough to be my grandfather.
Granted, a clean bill of health at 79 is even more spectacular than still being able to get it up at that age, but Sarah and I had envisaged ourselves finding a donor who was at least below 50. Granted, sperm is sperm but by the time our offspring is old enough to consider tracking down his/her biological father, George may well no longer be the lively Willy Wonka figure that he is now.
George's story was rather sad. He fell in love with a girl when he was in his twenties and she died whilst carrying his baby. He then married a right old witch who divorced him after eight years. After that he was bitten by the travel bug and never found a part of the world where he was happy to settle down.
Although George is very keen to pass his DNA onto future generations and even offered to provide for our child in his will, I just didn't feel comfortable with such an elderly donor (let alone accepting money from him.) I knew instantly that Sarah wasn't keen either and George must have caught the brief nervous glance we exchanged because he seemed to know we wouldn't select him even before we even had a chance to really get chatting
Pros: great long-term health; probably won't interfere with child rearing (because he'll be dead)
Cons: old enough to be my grandfather; might die before our child has a chance to meet him.
Verdict: Unsuitable
3 comments:
You seem to have slightly contradictory feelings about the future involvement of donors in your child's life. I think it unlikely that a potential donor will be happy to step out of the picture now yet at the same time hang around in the background *just in case* fifteen years down the line your child gets curious about his/her biological origins.
George seems like the perfect solution to me - if he is no longer around if and when your child wishes to get in contact, you will be able to tell him/her about their biological father but there will be no complications or hurt to him/her or to either of you from the consequences of future involvement.
If George is still going strong, then maybe he would be able to provide a godparent/grandfather's role in the child's life, rather than complicating and confusing things.
Life's a crapshoot baby! You might find that 25 year old Adonis/Aristotle combo and he could get hit by a bus the day after conception. I say George is your man.
As a lesbian also seeking a donor,I can empathize with your arduous search.
One comment about George...I think that you should reconsider him if it isn't too late. Even if you child may never know him as a father, he could be a great-uncle or something. Think about how much love he will have for that baby! And how much graditude you will get. I think that even if the child only knows him for a short time, it will be a time filled with love. And that is important. He seemed genuine.
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